I'm about to head out the door to Pennsylvania to see my friend's dance competition. She's going to win, I know it!

Last night's dinner with Jason was nice but I realized that we're just friends. No love thing, so no need to worry about that.

Kids, he's not your father.

My friend Jason is coming over for dinner tonight. I spent the afternoon making lasagna, garlic bread, a cake and preparing a salad. Then I got dressed up in a nice blouse and pants. And then I realized that I have gone to a lot of trouble for a guy who is just a friend. It was kind of a wake up call. I stood in my closet looking at my dressed up reflection in the mirror and had an "Oh My God" moment. What am I doing? Do I like this guy more than I realized? Can I like this guy? He hasn't given me any reason to believe that we could be more than friends. And I have a rule that I don't like guys who don't like me. What to do? What to do?

I am home from a weekend at the beach. I was there with friends and as usual, it was entertaining. There is one thing I can count on with my friends and that is that things are never boring.

My friend Jason was there. He is the guy that Nicole thinks I want. We are friends and I admit that I find him attractive, but he doesn't seem to think of me as anything more than a friend. I have a rule that I don't want guys who don't want me, so I've put him out of my mind.

The problem is that I have no one to replace him with. I just can't seem to find the guy who will turn my world upside down. I know he's out there somewhere, but where? I keep telling myself that I have to focus on me, that by being a better person, I'll attract him. I just wish it didn't have to be so hard. And even if it does, why can't I find a cute guy to hang out with in the meantime?

It's been a long and lonely summer. I'm in New Jersey while my friends and family are in Florida and Pennsylvania. I see my friends in PA about once a week, but the rest of the time I'm pretty bored. I was supposed to go on a family vacation but things at my dad's business caused him to cancel the trip.

I've been spending my Wednesday nights in Pennsylvania watching my friend, Nicole's dance competition. She and her dance partner/ex-boyfriend/soon-to-be-current-boyfriend-again just made it to the finals. I've been watching them and it made me realize that I want to find my guy. I'm ready for him. I want a real love.

So this blog is for my future children. It's the story of how I met their father.

P.S. - In case you didn't notice "How I Met Your Mother" is my favorite show. It's Legen... wait for it - dary!