I'm spending another day bumming around the cabin while the others ski, but today I'm not alone. Patrick stayed behind to keep me company! He just ran out to get us something to eat for lunch.

He is so freaking cute I can't stand it! Why, oh, why am I crushing on Nicole's ex? I can't remember the last time someone got to me this way. We spent the whole morning playing board games. Right now we're on a break from a very competitive game of Monopoly. I told him that I've never lost Monopoly. He smiled at me and said, "until now." A challenge...now I'm going to have to win!

When he left to get lunch he told me to stay away from the board. He kept teasing me about cheating. I explained to him that there is no way I would cheat. I want to beat him fair and square!

I wonder how mad Nicole would be if I dated him. I wonder if she'd even care. Damn it! She's got the perfect guy already. Wouldn't she want me to be happy? I'm going to sign off now because I'm just going to sit here and talk myself into thinking it's alright to go after her ex.

I've discovered that skiing is not my sport. I was only out there for about 45 minutes and then I twisted my ankle. Patrick brought me back to the cabin and hung out with me for a little while, but I felt bad that he spent money on a ski pass that he wasn't getting to use so I sent him back out.

Kelly's cabin is really nice. It's got 6 bedrooms, a huge living room and kitchen. They have a big HD TV, a fireplace and wireless internet so it's not so bad being stuck here. I actually prefer it. I would much rather be watching TV next to a warm fire than outside playing in the snow.

I'm wondering...is it bad that I find Patrick unbelievably sexy? He and Nicole dated briefly and she's my best friend so I think that means he's off limits. On the other hand, she is happily, rapturously in love with Josh, so what would she care if Patrick and I had a little fling?

All of this talk is probably in vain anyway. Kelly's friend, Monica seems into him and he's been hanging around her since we got here. I'm probably doomed to sit here alone this whole weekend. I can watch Jason and Kelly stealing kisses on the side, and Josh and Nicole holding hands and gazing at each other, while I nurse a swollen ankle and lonely heart.

Oh my God - he's back. Gotta go!

I am blogging from Nicole's room in Pennsylvania. She's next door having a discussion with her boyfriend. I'm not sure what's going on. Something about this weekend.

I really wish I had stayed in Florida. I just have a bad feeling about this weekend. Last night I called Andy and told him that I didn't think we were serious enough to spend a whole weekend together. He didn't take it well.

I can understand it. I should have told him this last week so that he could have made other plans, but the more I thought about it this week, the more uncomfortable I was with it.

OK, Nic just called and said we're going out to dinner. I guess she and Josh figured things out. Time to sign off and face the cold weather. Brrr.

Merry Christmas!

I'm enjoying my last day of warm Florida weather. I kind of wish I were staying here longer instead of heading home tomorrow. I spent the morning out on the boat with Arie. I love going out on the boat. We rode over to Pelican Alley for lunch. It's my favorite place because I can dock the boat right there, go in and get a great lunch.

Yesterday I spent the day out at Siesta Key with two of my girlfriends, Blair and Jo (and no, we don't have a friend named "Tootie" - it's just a very strange coincidence). We played beach volleyball and lounged on the sand. I didn't realize how badly I miss Florida.

Tonight I'm going out to dinner with my parents. I can tell that they are disappointed that I'm going back north so soon. I really wish I hadn't decided to go to Kelly's cabin this weekend. I'd like to stay here in the warmth just a little longer. Besides, at the party last week, Jason and Kelly invited Andy to come along. He accepted but I'm feeling a little uncomfortable about it. I don't think we're ready to spend a weekend together. It looks like I have an interesting weekend ahead of me.

Tonight is our very Christmasy Christmas Party! Our house is unbelievable! Molly went overboard with decorations. Nicole calls it "Macy's."

I have succumbed to the cookie baking. I figured we will need lots of cookies for the party tonight because everyone up here eats and eats.

Andy is coming tonight. I haven't seen him all week. I'm a little worried because I haven't missed him all that much. Not a good sign for the start of a relationship. He's a great guy and all, so why aren't I crazy about him? I would like to be, but I'm not. So confusing! :(

These Northerners are nuts with the Christmas Cookies. I have never seen so many cookies in my life. People in Florida bake cookies but not like this. This is insane. My mother has never been the type to be in the kitchen baking cookies so perhaps that is why it seems so odd to me. Between Amanda, Nicole and Molly we have a million cookies in our house right now. It's like the Cookie Monster broke in and threw up cookies everywhere.

Normally I wouldn't mind the extra cookie consumption because I'd be out playing tennis or beach volleyball but being that it's so cold out, I don't have my usual activities to counteract the cookie calories. No wonder Americans gain so much weight at Christmas time! I asked Nicole if she worried about eating too many cookies and she just shrugged. She doesn't have to worry because she's always dancing, and I mean always dancing. The girl dances around the house all the time. Oh, and it's so weird - we'll be listening to a song and I'll hear her counting out the dance beats - "quick, quick, slow...quick, quick, slow..." (Love ya, Nic, but it's weird!) I gave her grief about it on the way to the mall today so she already knows I think she's a freak.

We are having a holiday bash this Friday night. We have a bunch of friends coming over from school. I've been wanting to throw a party at the house and it's the perfect time. This semester was tough and I need to kick back now and just have some fun. Besides, when I get back to Florida I'm going to be busy working off all the Christmas cookies!

It's finals week and things are crazy. I hate finals week. I spent the most of the day stuck in the library with Amanda and Nicole. I feel like my head is going to explode. Jason stopped by and he and Nicole tried to talk me into going to the Poconos after Christmas. I'm still not sure about it, but I promised I'd continue to think about it.

Tonight I'm meeting up with Andy for dinner. Our date was Saturday night. He took me to this place in Pennsylvania where they have lots of little shops and they decorate for Christmas. The lights there were beautiful. We had dinner and then we shopped - I was shocked that he agreed to shop with me but he did. He might be a keeper. I say "might" because I'm not 100% sure that I'm crazy about him. He's sweet, kind, and good looking, but I don't have the butterflies in my stomach.

I was talking with Molly yesterday about how I envy Nicole's relationship with Josh because they there are always sparks flying when they are together. Molly was telling me about her ex-boyfriend that she broke up with because he was a foreign exchange student and had to move home to Australia. They still keep in touch and they have finally saved enough money to meet in Hawaii in May! It's been two years since they have seen each other but the desire is still there. It amazes me. That's what I want. I want someone who will still be pining for me two years later. I want a guy who will meet me half way in a tropical paradise because he wants to be with me so badly.

I'm not sure that Andy is that guy, but it's only been one date and he's sweet enough that I'm willing to see where this could go.

My mom and I picked out a new car on Saturday. I think the sales guy was thrilled. We walked in, test drove it and bought it. Easy day for him.

My mom left on Sunday to spend a few days with friends in Manhattan. At first I was kind of annoyed that she left so quickly but I had a lot of work to do for the last week of classes.

Andy came over Wednesday night and we worked on our final debate (which we won, by the way!!!). I walked him out to the car and he kissed me! It was kind of a shock, but it was also kind of nice. I think there is something romantic about being kissed in the snow. Maybe it's the Florida girl in me who has never experienced it before. He asked me to go out with him Saturday night so it looks like it's a date!

I'm trying to figure out my travel plans for Christmas. I was going to head down to Florida next weekend, but the week after that Amanda is officially moving in with us and I want to be here to help her out. It looks I have to suffer through the cold for an extra week.

P.S. - I have "I will walk 500 Miles..." in my head from "How I Met Your Mother" the other night. I love - wait for it - that show!

I've been invited to Kelly's aunt's cabin for New Years. Kelly is Jason's ex-girlfriend converted back to girlfriend status. I don't think she likes me very much, so I'm suspicious about the invitation. I think it has something to do with Nicole and Josh wanting me to be there. Hey, maybe even Jason wants me to be there, but it still seems weird.

I'm not sure if I should go. My options are to stay in Florida and bask in the warmth while I can, or come back north and maybe have a good time. I think I feel weird because Jason and I were really close before he got back together with Kelly. We weren't the "in love" kind of close, but it has been a little weird since they got back together. I'd love to spend the New Year with Nicole but I don't know if I want to spend it with Jason and Kelly.

Andy asked me if I want to go see a movie tomorrow night. My mom is coming to town tonight so I'm not free this weekend, but my roommates are insisting he was asking me out on a date. He hasn't given me any romantic signs, but now that they've planted the idea in my head I keep wondering...and I'll never know because I can't go to the movies! Why does everything have to be so complicated all the time?

Ugghhhhhh!!!! My car was stolen last night. I drove down to Philadelphia to go Christmas shopping, which was a stupid idea. I don't know what I was thinking. I could have gone so many better places - King of Prussia, Princeton, Manhattan!!! But I thought I'd go to Philly. My car got stolen. I couldn't get any of my friends on the phone. Nicole was in her dance class, Molly has a night class and I still don't know where Jason was. I ended up calling Andy and he drove down to help me out.

I am truly grateful to him. I was freaking out. Now I'm depressed. I loved that car. :( And I just got it a few months ago. The police told me that the crooks steal new cars for the airbags. Very weird.

My mom is coming up this weekend to help me get a new car. We're pretty sure we're not going to get mine back. She called earlier and told me she wants to go to Manhattan to see the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Plaza. I'm just not in the mood for Christmas cheer right now. I'm too upset about my car.

No luck with Ethan. I'm beginning to think it's a lost cause. We had a girl's weekend at the house. Nicole's cousin and her best friend came to stay with us and after a lot of girl talk I have come to realize that Ethan is just not that in to me. Sad but true. Now I must move on.

Today and tomorrow are going to be a nightmare to get through. I am so ready for Thanksgiving break. It's not even funny. Yesterday Andy and I drove down to the Philadelphia Library to get a hard-to-find resource for our debate. It was a disaster. It was pouring and the library didn't open until 1:00 p.m. so we had to sit around and wait. We ended up finding a Starbucks to hang out in until the library opened. That wasn't so bad, but when we got back to the library we could not find the resource we needed. We searched and searched. Even one of the librarians had a hard time finding it. We did eventually get it but it took up most of the day.

The debate was this morning and now my brain is entering vacation mode. I don't care about the rest of today or tomorrow. I am now having an "in-school-vacation day."

I can't wait to get on the plane tomorrow night and head home to warm and sunny Sarasota, Florida. I need some beach time. :)

We're on to our second debate now and this time I'm working with Andy. Somehow it ended up that Nicole is working with Ethan on this one. I know she's not doing anything intentionally but I'm so annoyed that she gets Ethan. She has a boyfriend that all the girls love, and now she gets Ethan too. I know I'm not making any sense. She doesn't have Ethan, nor does she want him. I just wish I got to be his debate partner.

So Nic feels bad about it and has offered to help me with the last minute Halloween Party I'm throwing tomorrow night. She even convinced Ethan that he has to come! This afternoon we're going shopping for our costumes. I haven't decided what I'm going to be yet but it has to be something that will catch his eye. My mind is set on him.

Last night was the first time that Ethan has shown any interest in something besides school work. But that something wasn't me.

Before our meeting, Nicole and I stopped in a Hallmark store and she bought a CD of piano music. She was looking at it in the coffee shop while we waited for Ethan and Andy to arrive. Ethan walked in and noticed the CD and started asking about it. They got into a long conversation about how she misses Josh and how she bought the CD because he's a piano player. It went on and on. I love Nicole, but I was hoping Ethan would take an interest in me - not in her and her CD.

I guess I'm going to have to work harder to get his attention. Tomorrow is our class and I am going to make sure to wear my blue sweater. It fits right in all of the right places and it makes my eyes pop. If that doesn't work I will have to remind myself of the golden rule: don't like guys who don't like you.

No posts recently. It's pathetic, but I must admit there hasn't been anyone of the male persuasion that I could blog about. Until now.

Nicole and I were put into a debate group with two guys. Too bad she's taken or I'd be working the double dating angle. But anyway...they are Ethan and Andy, and I've got my sights set on Ethan. I'm trying not to be too obvious about it. I decided I'd make him love me by showing him how amazing I am. The only problem is that we only see each other in class or when we're meeting about the debate and he's all work. His head is constantly in the books, and that kind of makes it hard for him to see how amazing I am.

Plus I am so nervous talking to him that I seem like a complete idiot. I figured that I'll just talk to Andy and let Ethan overhear how great I am. I'm not sure if it's working yet. Nic and I are meeting them tonight to do more research so we'll see how things go.

As far as the brief moment where I thought for a moment that I might like Jason...I have officially, 100% decided that it was a strange cosmic shift that shifted back to neutral as quickly as it shifted in his direction. We get along great but romance is a completely different story. Besides I think he's hooking up with his ex. We all went camping this past weekend and they were attached at the hip.

Anyway, it's almost time to see Ethan. Must go beautify!

I'm about to head out the door to Pennsylvania to see my friend's dance competition. She's going to win, I know it!

Last night's dinner with Jason was nice but I realized that we're just friends. No love thing, so no need to worry about that.

Kids, he's not your father.

My friend Jason is coming over for dinner tonight. I spent the afternoon making lasagna, garlic bread, a cake and preparing a salad. Then I got dressed up in a nice blouse and pants. And then I realized that I have gone to a lot of trouble for a guy who is just a friend. It was kind of a wake up call. I stood in my closet looking at my dressed up reflection in the mirror and had an "Oh My God" moment. What am I doing? Do I like this guy more than I realized? Can I like this guy? He hasn't given me any reason to believe that we could be more than friends. And I have a rule that I don't like guys who don't like me. What to do? What to do?

I am home from a weekend at the beach. I was there with friends and as usual, it was entertaining. There is one thing I can count on with my friends and that is that things are never boring.

My friend Jason was there. He is the guy that Nicole thinks I want. We are friends and I admit that I find him attractive, but he doesn't seem to think of me as anything more than a friend. I have a rule that I don't want guys who don't want me, so I've put him out of my mind.

The problem is that I have no one to replace him with. I just can't seem to find the guy who will turn my world upside down. I know he's out there somewhere, but where? I keep telling myself that I have to focus on me, that by being a better person, I'll attract him. I just wish it didn't have to be so hard. And even if it does, why can't I find a cute guy to hang out with in the meantime?

It's been a long and lonely summer. I'm in New Jersey while my friends and family are in Florida and Pennsylvania. I see my friends in PA about once a week, but the rest of the time I'm pretty bored. I was supposed to go on a family vacation but things at my dad's business caused him to cancel the trip.

I've been spending my Wednesday nights in Pennsylvania watching my friend, Nicole's dance competition. She and her dance partner/ex-boyfriend/soon-to-be-current-boyfriend-again just made it to the finals. I've been watching them and it made me realize that I want to find my guy. I'm ready for him. I want a real love.

So this blog is for my future children. It's the story of how I met their father.

P.S. - In case you didn't notice "How I Met Your Mother" is my favorite show. It's Legen... wait for it - dary!