I'm so confused. Patrick and I have been emailing each other back and forth all week. It's flirty and it's fun - but what does he want? Is it even possible for us to try to be more than friends if he's in Florida and I'm in New Jersey?

It is just my luck that I'd fall for someone who's not around. It's so unfair - yes, this is me going into "poor Natalie" mode as my father would say. It's just that I never have luck in love. I had Andy's interest and he was a nice, sweet, sweet guy - but he was boring. He agreed with whatever I said, and did whatever I wanted to do. Patrick, on the other hand, has tons of personality. He's fun and interesting and he challenges me - not in a jerky kind of way, but in a friendly way. He agrees with me sometimes, but when he doesn't he explains why. It's so much more stimulating to talk to a guy who has his own opinion on things and doesn't just go along with whatever I say. I hate that.

Patrick is the perfect guy. The perfect guy who is living a thousand miles away. Figures.

I have an interview tomorrow for a part time job at a mortgage company. It's nothing exciting. I'll be working as a receptionist if I get the job. They only need someone to work mornings. It's perfect for me because all of my classes are in the afternoon and I desperately need to make money. My dad decided that I need a "taste of the real world" so he's limiting my spending. Doesn't he understand that kids go to college to avoid the "real world" for four years? And some even go on to get masters and PhD's to avoid it even longer? Maybe I should consider a doctorate. Just a thought.

My dad is the perfect example of the American Dream. He's what my American Studies prof would call a "Horatio Alger" story. He grew up in poverty. My grandparents were dirt poor. My dad couldn't afford college so he went to work after high school. After everyone would go home at night my dad would still be there, making cold calls to the west coast where people were still working. He learned the business inside and out and then one day he realized it was stupid to keep working for someone else when he could work for himself. So he started his own company and now he has three offices in Florida, one in Atlanta and two in the North East. I think he wants me to be more like that. The problem is that I'm more like my mom. I'd rather fly around on the company jet and have fun. I wish I could get more motivated, but I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I'm supposed to be declaring my major, and I can't figure out what I want to do! My dad thinks this will help me get my act together. We'll see..