I can think of a million reasons why I should be happy right now, and only one reason to be sad. So why is it that the one reason to be sad is the one occupying my mind and taking up residence in my heart?

I spent all of January and a chunk of February waiting for Patrick to come home so I could see if there's anything there. Now he's here and I can't stop thinking about Jason. Meanwhile, Jason is off living his life, working towards Med School and making up with Kelly while I stand here stuck in the mud. I should be moving forward and getting on with my life. It was just one kiss - one stupid kiss. So why can't I get past it?

On Tuesday I wrote that I wasn't going to write about him anymore and here I am writing about him. How do I get closure on this? I don't feel like moping around over some jerk! This has got to stop.